It's easier to run

http://gymratfoodie.wordpress.com/2009/06/29/video-rosalie-does-chin-ups/

But seriously, this is the last plug I'll make for my new journal. I mean, you get to watch a video! Of me! Exercising in a door!

astres  is pretty cool. She set up a feed for livejournal of my new blog, gymratfoodie and you can access it here:

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/gymratfoodie/


Thanks Kate :) 





Bcuz we hate text-only posts...
Here's a picta. I like visuals because I'm a visual learner.



From left to right: Jason and me (as if that wasn't obvious)
Duke University Last Day of Classes (LDOC) 2009

I have moved house as both a cause and effect of not using LJ...

http://www.gymratfoodie.wordpress.com

I get bored of livejournal sometimes. Add me on twitter!

www.twitter.com/alliterating



8 more days until I go home. My 20-page paper has a very rough first draft of 12 pages. After I finish that, my 8-page paper will seem like a floozy. FLEWZEEE

I have drawn up some goals in my head for the summer, specific ones because I have a poor track record of sticking to any vague fancy. They include reading, chinese, and running, primarily. More on this later.

Girl Talk came to play at Duke to an inebriated crowd and it was SO GOOD. He (Greg Gillis) is a biomedical engineer by day, too! Wow! I almost got trampled in the crowd, oh shit oh shit. And ben folds and gym class heroes came too, but ben folds was lackluster and I completely missed gym class heroes because -------

GET THIS. I was an official WITNESS to 3 counts of burglary! Breaking and entering! One of which was to Jason's room; we were actually in his room when it happened. The door was locked and suddenly someone started POUNDING on the door. Pounding really, really hard. Sure enough, the door split in HALF after a couple of hits. Yeah, a wooden door just split down the middle and in walked RANDO who barked at us, "WHERE IS MY COOLER?!?!" so we called the popo, they arrested him and took him away in handcuffs. Apparently the backstory was that he had stored a coolerful of beers with his friend in the fraternity. He couldn't find the cooler anymore and was convinced someone in the fraternity stole it. So he broke down 3 locked, wooden doors to look for it, and now has been arrested for 3 counts of burglary because he was drunk and stupid. Well, that totally killed the mood.

What an adventure.

I am going to sleep now, but do add me on twitter.

Things hurt  in ways and places I didn't know were possible




Waking up at daylight and living until I sleep feels surreal

This is the first year I put serious thought into putting together my bracket. Things have already begun to derail with florida state, WVU, and wake's losses in the first round (since I predicted them to all go to the sweet 16). I love Wake and their style, and think they'll do much, much better next year with consistency since their graduating class is weak anyway, and hopefully with this early loss none of their starters will make the NBA and all return with more consistency and experience. 

Twitter is fueling my basketball addiction. I can now wallow/gloat/panic in real time with everyone else while watching all the games. Thank goodness I don't have much to do this weekend.

My schedule is so light this semester: drawing, psych of consumers, intro to cultural anthropology, my independent study, and cycling! Drawing is time and assignment-intensive, but it's not taxing. My class is 16 people, none of them visual arts/art history majors -- but plenty of engineers and chem and econ majors who doodle as a hobby. Psych of consumers meets just once a week with very little homework and all the concepts are so intuitive I wonder if we actually complicate the issue by creating a class -- or an entire scientific field -- devoted to its studies. But I try to keep in mind the theme, which is that things in consumer psychology aren't always as it seems or should be, and that intuition often fails. Culanth has lots of interesting readings and videos, and the professor is so engaging. It's just an all-around enjoyable class. I like cycling, but I don't really like the class anymore. Lately the instructor has said some things that bothered me: including how she ate such-and-such and needed to burn plenty of calories that day, talking about exercise as a means to achieve weight loss. She has a shape-magazine style of favoring terms such as "toning," and encouraging the class to use low-weight-high-rep when we venture off the bike into resistance training (which I wish she wouldn't do to begin with). I don't think I will take this again next semestr. Independent study entails going into the lab 10-15hrs a week and learning techniques/doing odd jobs around the lab. No exams, just a 20-page paper at the end of the semester. If I'm ever going to make dean's list with distinction, this would probably be my best shot. I can't wait to pick classes for next semester.

ON RUNNING! It's a gorgeous high of 55 today, and if I can peel myself from watching bball games I'll go run on the wa-duke trail (where my 5k is going to be held!) but if not, no biggie; the maryland-memphis game is important  ;p

British psychoanalyst and author Susie Orbach is known for approaching eating disorders from a feminist angle, especially addressing how body expectations/body image is gendered and harmful to women. While eating disorders is a feminist issue, it's also too complex and multifaceted to be only a feminist issue. Body image and gender dynamics probably contribute to EDs, but the fact that  genetic vulnerabilities and neurochemical changes underlie eating disorders as well is often left out of the media. I cringe whenever eating disorders are portrayed as a matter of wanting to be thin, or wanting control, because I think those are SYMPTOMS, not causes. There's a whole realm of physiological factors that are often ignored. Nevertheless, I like Susie Orbach and her spunky attitude in promoting body love and healthy self image. In a recent interview promoting her new book "Bodies," I found this gem of a quote:

"I wish we could treat our bodies as the place we live from, rather than regard it as a place to be worked on, as though it were a disagreeable old kitchen in need of renovation and update."



I made a green smoothie today!
1 ripe banana
1 carton of 6oz yogurt (I used yoplait original, strawberry flavor)
1 TBS ground flax
A couple of almonds
4 or 5 ice cubes
a handful of spinach

It's bright green, thick, and deliciously sweet! I couldn't taste the spinach at all. And now I regret not getting an apartment next year because it's incredibly hard to prepare food/cook in dorms... it's possible, but more work than it's worth. Haha. And I don't think I can buy a green smoothie at the Great Hall.


My Dukies lost against UNC during the game that determined the ACC leader of the regular season,, and since Wake Forest beat Clemson, we were seeded in the ACC tournament at #3. If we had won that game, we would have been the #1 seed in the conference. Duke played really hard, though, but their shots just didn't fall in as easily as UNC. I don't know if we can be a final four team without a powerful center. We need to have someone capable of scoring at the post and drawing fouls. The pick and rolls and jump shots that our stars are so good at aren't effective when the shooting goes cold, and during the entire game I couldn't help but notice how much effort each basket seemed to demand, while UNC shots seemed effortless.

I'm going to stay with Casey tomorrow night, and possibly Molly later this week!
Every day should be spring break :)

News in my life... Heh

I saw a preview showing of Miss March -- am I allowed to talk about it here? I want to. Heh. It doesn't come out until march 14. Maybe I'll wait until then. What are the laws surrounding this?

I really want to go to a transgender 101 lesson/event on campus held by the LGBT center during the last week of march, but I have class during the session. They always schedule their ally-targeted events at times when I have classes. Grrrr! Maybe I'll skip class; this is important.

Running... why is running so much harder for me on a treadmill? I've run outside for 40 minutes at a stretch, but today I ran on a treadmill and felt pretty wiped out by 30 minutes. I don't think I was going any faster. Maybe I just get so bored staring at the walls that every second feels like it crawls. It just surprises me because everyone else claims treadmill running is easier. I can also do a pull-up again. Apparently when I said I couldn't do one before, I just wasn't trying hard enough.

It's spring break! My mom got me presents (she always gets me presents when I come home!) of lotion, body butter, body mist, and an orange polo. I've been wearing nothing but cotton tshirts and gym shorts lately because they're so comfortable and free-flowing and make me feel less critical of my body. How do girls wear tight pants and tight shirts?

Ramble ramble ramble. Sunday is the game that will probably boast the single highest television ratings of the college basketball season -- DUKE UNC! Unfortunately, UNC is going to be a healthy team, while starter pg nolan smith is out for a concussion, sometimes-starter  lance thomas is out for a sprained ankle, and sometimes-starter center brian zoubek has a broken nose and will probably play with a face mask. This game is going to be legendary -- it's tyler hansborough's last game, senior game, and in the same stadium against the same team who broke HIS nose last year :)

I know I talk about basketball a lot and nobody who reads this even cares... but man, since I started watching games on espn360, I CANT STOP WATCHING. Yesterday I watched probably 2-3 games in full (that's 4-6 hours.............BUT that penn 1-pt upset over illinois was exciting!!!!) while doing homework/half assedly studying. I know like, everything about bubble teams and chances and probabilities and records and conferences and who-needs-what-win in time for selection sunday... and it is only starting to escalate now that my dad has sportscenter playing 24/7.

I also went berry tripping! You put a tablet on your tongue, let it melt, and then for the next 20-30 minutes, everything sour that you eat tastes super sweet. Strawberries taste like they're coated in sugar. Vinegar tastes kind of like juice. fresh lemon tastes like lemonade! And grapefruit tastes like ....well, candied grapefruit. It's SO COOL. I kind of want to buy a 40-pack and take a berry trip a day.

shower and bedtime :]

Why can't we just rephrase this question to "what are your 5 favorite DVDs?"
Or does the context of magical desert island that has electricity, TV, and a DVD imply something beyond a question of favorites?

Well, anyway, I'd say:

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -- I've seen this movie with so many significant people in my life that it's now associated with many memories, positive and negative and bittersweet alike.

2. American Beauty -- enough roses to make anyone happy :)

3. Wall-E -- It just makes me fuzzy, and when I think desert island, I think of the lonely 40 minutes in the beginning of the movie when Wall-E is alone on earth amassing trash.

4. Crash -- I like stories on race relations, as well as movies that are intense and poignant. Crash sits at the intersection of both.

5. Milk -- I've never actually seen this, but what better place to watch a movie for the first time than on a desert island with "magical" properties?

• A pretty spot-on article about how parents' and society's concerns over eating healthfully has instilled fear and vigilance in children over food choices, with a telling quote from one of my previous doctors (!!!!!!!!!!): “I see younger kids who have an eating disorder precipitated by a nutrition lesson in school,” said Dr. Leslie Sanders, medical director of the eating disorders program at Atlantic Health Overlook Hospital in Summit, N.J.
• Duke basketball is amazing. Nolan Smith out with "mild concussion," but Gerald Henderson was so good last night in the win against Maryland and so fun to watch!
• Speaking of basketball...OMG DEVIN HARRIS. The nets are still bad-to-mediocre but that buzzer beater from half-court ... wow. I can't wait to go home and watch NBA with my dad now :)
• Spring break in a week!

It's national eating disorders awareness week.
Be the change you want to see in the world! :)

You know that "25 facts about me" that has been circulating around facebook? I keep hearing complaints from people of annoyingly being tagged over and over, and couldn't help but feel a little inadequate that of my 800-some-odd friends, nobody had tagged me. Until yesterday, bylastshadow ! Not that I ever need an excuse to indulge in some vanity on my livejournal, but still -- the instructions! Not that I ever follow meme instructions anyway.

So here are my 25 facts, under the cut.

( Read more... )

Today is such a beautiful day outside
and I'm just determined to be okay, just for tonight

It's very hard and a lot of times I am very sad
but I'm also very strong, too, so I know I can do this.

I don't know how to say what I feel

I want to go home and be by myself though.

God damnit.

It shouldn't be this hard, it shouldn't make me tear up when I think about it, even if it's only "sometimes"
IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD
IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD
I should not be sitting in the fucking library after dinner crying in public at my computer cubby because I feel so shitty about myself after a nice dinner at a nice venue, and trying to hide it all from him because this stupid issue comes up so often that all we EVER do is talk about it until the cows come home, and oh goodness do the "I'm sorries" and the "I don't know what to dos" ever become so stale.


Is it me or is it him? Is this even a relevant question?
How do I change? How do I bear not changing?

I debate going back to therapy over this.

Sorry this is vague. Vague is all that I can do if I want to make a public entry, and there's nothing so refreshing and satisfying as venting an incomplete secret to the world.

Song of the moment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IizQezbiBA
So catchy. I've been waiting for the repetitiveness to catch up causing me to inevitably LOATHE the song (as always happens with catchy songs on the radio), but it's been probably a month and DEARGOODNESS I LOVE THIS SONG. Ha, I especially like the cloying chorus. *bops head*


I can do an unassisted pullup now from a straight hang. One day it just happened, and I went from cant to can. It was quite anticlimactic. I'm still me, and everything still looks the same on me, and the world out there still looks the same from me. I can also hold the frontal plank (on elbows and tows) for 2 minutes with relative ease. I look so ...... square. dense. Ugh. I wish I could actually *WANT* to go to the gym everyday, but I 've NEVER liked exercising, and if I was the last person left in teh world, I doubt I would exercise anymore. Is it all for other people, then?

Last night I went out to dinner with jason's family (parents, 2 brothers, uncle and aunt) and the 8 of us had a family-style dinner at Maggiano's. I ate and felt very full -- and i'm still full now -- but instead of feeling uncomfortable or annoyed that I was eating more than Jason, I felt very happy. At least relieved, maybe, that his entire family is "normal" and they eat desserts and fried onion strings. And still a little bitter at him for being odd and making me feel conflicted. Then I had way too much to drink and my belly stuck out all night. Oh goodness.

OH AND DUKE IS GONNA BE RANKED #1 ON MONDAY AFTER THE MARYLAND ASS WHOOPIN HELL YEAH


I've decided to participate in a dance act that's part of a large yearly "asian culture" show at Duke, and practice is in half an hour! :) ITS REALLY FUN.

I got my drank and my two step, my drank and my two step
it's onnnn

I love
makign posts when I'md runk as fuck
because I wak up the next mornign
and surprise mysel.f, I like surprises



Mmmmmmmmmmmm
500 calories of alcohol, but its so effortless and simple, unlike 500 calories of apples(thats like 5 apples or 3 really bugi ones)or 500 caloreis of a dessert (which is probably 500 claories in a single serving)

I am so boring, I talk caloreis wheh II'm drunk.

We finally dug into the barefoot bugbly, the champagne jason bought for my birhtday that I blew off, we (I) polished that off and then i dipped banana into baileys and probaly hdad 9832492384 more claories of baileys, but its so effortless and smooth and I wake up with a flatter stomach from allt he dehydration anyway

god baileys is so good, cake as a vehicle for bahlieys





and
Then i eat all this teash food, i think it was panda esxporess, kung fu chicken panda,
and people stare at me with my apws in the trash can
but its okay because I';m drunk, I have an exuse, I'm drunk, not eatingg disordiersed, its drunk, not ed, drunk, and thats a little more acceptable a reason for eating out of the trashf


Jason likes my buddha belly anyway
okay


I need to roll itno bed now. okay
tomorrow I'm going to wak up and reading this and probably  laugh at my stupidinty

It's the monday after holidays, the monday that epitomizes all mondays, but I don't have school until wednesday :)

UNC lost against unranked BC, and Duke won against unranked Virginia Tech. It was a good day in college basketball ;)

I saw Benjamin Button, Valkyrie, and Marley & Me in the span of 4 days... Thought Valkyrie was terrible in terms of pacing, and Tom Cruise was awful. Loved the acting in Benjamin Button as well as the story, but didn't like the "Flashback/read from a diary" way in which it was told. I like movies that jump right into the story... and Marley & Me was cute. Any movie with Owen Wilson is automatically A+ in my book :P

I cook a lot at home :)

I made "chicken balsamico" today, with chicken breasts, balsamic vinegar, tomato paste, and copious amounts of thyme and oregano. All served over whole-wheat linguine.

I also make a mean bowl of pumpkin oatmeal... with pumpkin puree, pumpkin pie spice, rolled oats, cottage cheese, and a little maple syrup.

I can't believe how easy and effortless it is to eat properly when I'm at home and making my own food
And in turn, I feel so much happier and healthier (ie. not exhausted and dehydrated from b/ping 5 hours a day)
I think I eat 1800-2000 calories a day at home (nothing off limits, including desserts, etc.)... and exercise 4-5 times a week for 45-1hr on average.
why haven't i been able to maintain these habits at school?

Although I know nobody cares, Duke (ranked #6) is playing Xavier (ranked #7) today at the Continental Airlines Arena at 2pm! Watch on CBS! It's a big game! So many big NCAA games today! Okay I'll shut up. Every time I come home, I start following basketball like crazy, since sportscenter is perpetually playing in the background...
When Cincinnati and New Jersey get together, good things happen ;) ;)



I had a doctor's appointment this morning... I've developed a weird rash last saturday and it's spread my hands up to my arms, and today I found some red spots on my thighs. Yuck. I got blood drawn and have to go back on Monday. I showed my Dad, and he joked -- I KID YOU NOT -- "it's not lupus" HAHA. I also got my yearly EKG while I was there, and Doctor Dude said I had a healthy heart :D Thank you body, for being resilient.

I'm spending the christmas this year with my cousin, Jimmy, who is a freshman at Emory. We're flying to Atlanta to stay with my uncle's family for a day, then driving down to northern florida (Amelia Island) for a few days, then driving back up and visiting smoky mountain. New Years will be celebrated at a family friend's house.

Going to college in north carolina has instilled a big distate for cold weather and snow. Since getting up in the morning on Friday and seeing the flurries outside, I've decided I'm going to go to grad school/live/work somewhere at least as warm as virginia. Can you believe I lived 9 years in canada?

4 semesters down, 3 semesers to go.

I ended up with a 2.7 (B-) in neuroscience, the class into which I put the most effort. It's a little disheartening, considering how much I studied for this class all semester. The average in the class, however, was a B-, so I am still within the lower boundary of my self-imposed standard of being at worst "slightly below average." The important thing is to not let a poor grade to dissuade me from persuing a subject that I love and find fascinating.

Winter break is the best time of the year, the only time when I don't feel some self/society-imposed pressure to do something productive. During the school year, it's tough to relax for obvious reasons. During the summer, I feel compelled to work, find an internship, be involved in research, etc., because that's what everyone else seems to do, leaving me feeling inadequate or falling behind if I don't. But winter break is too short for a "program" or job, and everyone's on vacation anyway. My only task for these 3 weeks is to re-learn chinese characters so that when I go back to school and take Chinese, I'll have an easier time. It's enjoyable :)

I'm going to have the easiest schedule next semester:
Consumer Psychology
Drawing
Chinese
Independent Study
Cycling

I've been really happy lately.

Healthy relationships are the best things in the world.